


But He Wasn't So Bad

by novembermond



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Amputee Bucky Barnes, Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon Compliant, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Everything Hurts, HYDRA Trash Party, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Stockholm Syndrome, T'Challa is too noble for his own good, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 10:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7099921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novembermond/pseuds/novembermond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>T'Challa discovers just how Bucky has been treated by Hydra. Bucky has conflicted feelings about his abusers.<br/>Or: In Which I Utterly Fail At Fluff And Everything Is Horrible</p>
            </blockquote>





	But He Wasn't So Bad

**Author's Note:**

> We need more Bucky/T'Challa.

„I wish they were still alive so I could sink my claws into them.“

Bucky looked up from the book on Wakandan history he was reading. The laptop display showed an old recording of the Winter Soldier being beaten bloody with metal sticks. From the quality of the video Bucky could date it sometime in the eighties. The man standing in the corner overseeing the procedure must have been Karpov. 

“Ah, well. That’s only Karpov. He wasn’t so bad.” the sentence escaped Bucky before he could think about it. Now that he was allowed to do and say what he wanted he found that sometimes the words just stumbled out of him. 

“Not so bad?” T’Challa’s gaze was fixed to the man on the screen who had stopped screaming by now and simply took it. Only now it occurred to Bucky that when T’Challa had asked for permission to go through the Hydra material on the Winter Soldier, Bucky could have said no. He only thought about how it might help deprogram him. But seeing the material clearly displeased T’Challa. 

“No, really. He even gave me a whole banana once.” The memory came to him suddenly. He hadn’t known before, but now Bucky was filled with the warm and fuzzy feeling again. It had been a long and gruesome mission and the Soldier had not been warm for days. And when he was done, covered in snow and frozen gore Karpov had been there. Bucky had been allowed to eat the whole fruit undisturbed before they undressed him and hosed him down. 

“A whole banana.” T’Challa didn’t sound impressed. Finally he tore his gaze away from the screen and turned to the window. Outside the huge glass panel was the picturesque view of the Wakandan jungle. 

“No, you see. That was back in soviet times. Bananas weren’t so easy to come by!” It had meant a lot to him. He wasn’t going to let T’Challa belittle that. “Anyway, he was so much better than Lukin.” 

Bucky didn’t remember exactly what had been done to him before Karpov got to be in charge of the Winter Soldier project. But he knew it was bad. He knew it was Lukin who really broke the old Bucky. Karpov had only perfected the programming. 

T’Challa sighed. He turned back to the computer and closed the video. He pulled up the next file. The Winter Soldier lying naked on an examination table. Bucky shuddered and went back to his book. He really didn’t need to see that. 

“I am sorry.” T’Challa said quietly. He didn’t elaborate. Bucky acknowledged him with a sharp nod.

They were silent for a few minutes. Then there was high pitched screaming coming from the video. It was a newer one, from his time with Pierce and Rumlow. The video quality was much better than in the previous ones. The sound quality too. T’Challa closed the laptop. He came over to the couch Bucky was sitting on. Bucky held the book with too much force, the knuckles on his remaining hand showing white. 

“I can’t say that I understand what you’ve been going through. I’ve only seen glimpses and I shouldn’t assume.”

Bucky let out the breath he had been holding. He wanted to say thank you, but what came out of his mouth instead was: “When I got away all I wanted was to live peacefully. Sometimes I thought about destroying all the Hydra stuff I could, but when I saw Steve on TV I knew I wouldn’t have to. All I knew was how to kill and I didn’t want to kill anyone. Not even Karpov. But if I had found myself alone in a room with Rumlow… I wouldn’t have minded hurting him.” Bucky took a heavy breath. 

T’Challa sat down on the plush carpet before the couch and leaned back onto the seat. He was close to Bucky’s legs, but not touching them. “So you stayed far away from it all. I admire that.”

A laugh tore out of Bucky. “Or maybe they have just successfully beaten all revenge out of me.”

“On the contrary. I think you made your own decision and you stuck with it. You were taking back your autonomy.”

Bucky put the book down again. “I think you’re being too soft with me.”

“I think you deserve a little soft.”

“Are you… are you flirting with me?”

T’Challa leaned away abruptly. “I apologize. That was inappropriate.”

“No, wait! It’s okay… I think.” 

But T’Challa stood up. “You are under my protection. I will not allow anyone to hurt you, especially not myself.”

He was being so noble it actually hurt to watch. Bucky’s heart almost skipped a beat.

“I’ll go check up on the progress of your new arm.” T’Challa fled the room, leaving Bucky in a state of confused arousal. It was really for the better. T’Challa was a king and deserved better. Now he really knew just how damaged Bucky was. He couldn’t even hate his abuser because of a fucking banana, how fucked up was that? Bucky hid his face in his hand. He should just get frozen again, so he couldn’t hurt anyone else.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry.


End file.
